Oh, what a bunch of shit this is. My weekend and the week before that have been then worst! All the cats have been rude, and Steve's been so depressed he forgot to feed me for two days! I'm going to call animal abuse on him, and hopefully, they'll take that demon away from me. Bitch was let outside and didn't return for 3 hours. My humans eventually found her outside laying down. What an absolute idiot. Gibbyson hasn't really bothered me, but the other day he ate some of my food, which pissed me off. Random is hiding up in who-knows-where. GG is being an annoying slut, so I treated her like one with a few of my bitch slaps.
The door to the big diary (
human term: Computer) was accidentally blocked by the brown cube things. Steve said it had to do with some sort of work-related thing, where he had to move a bunch of boxes to our prison because they didn't have enough space for anything else. They fell in front of the door and blocked the way in. I really haven't gotten to move it myself, because my humans have been sticking me in this "catio". It's basically just a big kitty prison. The unmovable door (
human term: cat flap) has stopped me from entering my solitary confinement. Steve finally managed to open the door, and accidentally broke a few of the cube things. He said that I couldn't go in there until he found a new place to store the boxes, and he did, but in the worse possible area: right next to my favorite chair. We've been getting a ton of snow, and it sometimes even makes sounds and hits the side of the house. When that happens, I've learned to run because the boxes fall right as the sound hits the house.
But I tried to escape via the catio. It was a perfect plan, and everything was going right until my paw got stuck in the netting. I was stuck for 15 minutes until I was finally free of my captivity. I wandered upstairs to my human's room and wondered if escaping through their wind-o was a logical choice. After further investigation (
cat term: looking DOWN) I figured out that if I jump, I would lose a life, and I only have 4 left. So I eventually led Gibbyson upstairs and pushed him outside, and he fell. I heard a splat and managed to see his body turn inside-out and disappear. It was the second time I saw that happen. I was not amused. I then looked out the small door and stared at Bitch while she was laying down.
It was a joyous sight to see her sitting right in the middle of the brown liquid substance the humans call "mud". She tracked it in the house and the humans were understandably pissed off at the retard.
I've been sleepy, and right now I'm aching for a nap. Until next time.
